How much to tip wedding vendors, and when to hand it over

Start with your catering, venue, bar and transport contracts. Many already include a gratuity, and if yours does, you don’t owe a second one. Here Comes The Guide, a venue directory, puts it simply: if gratuity is in the contract, no extra tip is needed.

Read the wording closely, because a service charge and a gratuity are different things. A planner quoted by Brides says most catering contracts carry a service charge of 24 to 26 percent and that it is not the tip. Here Comes The Guide adds that a service charge is mandatory but may never reach the staff, so ask where it goes.

The IRS draws the same line. It treats a payment as a tip only if the customer chooses to pay it and decides how much. An automatic charge on the bill, such as a fixed 18 percent for large parties, is a service charge, whatever the business calls it.

So ask each vendor three questions in writing: Is there a gratuity in our total, and how much? Does any of the service charge go to the people working our wedding? Are your staff allowed to accept tips? Their answers tell you which rows of the table above still apply.

Tip first the people who work for wages on the day: servers, bartenders, kitchen staff, drivers, delivery crews, valets and attendants, and your hair and makeup team. Junebug Weddings lists most of these as expected rather than optional, and Here Comes The Guide treats them the same way when no gratuity is already in the contract.

For catering, the usual guide is 15 to 20 percent of the food and drink bill if nothing is included, or cash per person: about $20 per server and $100 to $300 for the banquet manager or head waiter, per Here Comes The Guide. The planner quoted by Brides suggests about $100 per server for standout work. Hair and makeup is tipped like a salon visit; the ranges run from 15 to 25 percent.

Bartenders often have gratuity on the caterer’s bill already. If not, give 10 to 20 percent of the bar bill to share, or a set amount each. Both Brides and Here Comes The Guide advise against tip jars, and the etiquette expert Brides quotes says staff should be told not to accept tips from guests.

Planners, photographers, videographers, florists and DJs who own their business set their own prices, so a tip is a gift for great work, not a duty. Here Comes The Guide says you never have to tip an owner, only their employees. A photographer quoted by Brides says she doesn’t expect tips, and that about half her couples give one, usually 5 to 10 percent.

For a planner, the guides disagree on size. Here Comes The Guide suggests 15 to 20 percent of the fee up to $500. The planner quoted by Brides, who works for a planning firm, suggests $500 to $1,000 for someone who went above and beyond. A heartfelt note or a gift is a real alternative.

Officiants vary most. Here Comes The Guide suggests $50 to $100, or a $100 to $500 donation to the house of worship when clergy won’t take cash. A courthouse judge or civil official may be barred by law from accepting a tip at all, so ask before you offer.

Get the cash a few days before the wedding. Put each tip in its own envelope, labeled with the vendor’s name and the amount, and add a one-line note saying what they did well. Brides, Here Comes The Guide and Junebug Weddings all recommend preparing envelopes in advance.

Then give the whole stack to one person you trust, with a written list of who gets what and when: a parent, your planner, the maid of honor or the best man. Junebug Weddings warns that some tips handed off at the end of the night never reach the right person, so make the list specific.

Timing follows the work. Beauty teams, drivers and delivery crews are paid when their job ends. Attendants are best paid at the start, so guests aren’t asked to tip, as A Practical Wedding notes. Photographers, DJs, coordinators and venue staff are tipped at the end of the night. A planner can be thanked after the wedding, even by mail. Some vendors let you add a tip to the final invoice instead, which Junebug Weddings says is fine where offered.

The UK is not a tipping culture in the way the US is, and supplier fees there are priced on the assumption that no tip will follow, according to WeddingsHub, a UK supplier directory. Not tipping is normal.

If you want to tip for exceptional service, WeddingsHub suggests a sum for the catering team handed to the catering manager to share, around £10 to £15 per front-of-house staff member, and 10 percent of a band’s fee to the band leader. Registrars charge a fixed statutory fee and don’t expect or accept tips. For photographers and planners, a detailed review and a referral are often worth more than cash.

Tips are easy to forget because no vendor invoices for them. Make a line in your budget as soon as your caterer, bar and transport contracts are signed, because those decide your biggest numbers.

Work it out vendor by vendor from the table, using the low end of each range for anyone whose contract already includes a gratuity, then round up. Withdraw the cash in the week before the wedding, not on the day, and keep a few spare envelopes with small bills for anyone you missed.